11.14.2011

Rex Caelestis: Artificial Gravity

From the Encyclopædia of Science and Technology, Ed. Ivan Krzykowski, St. Petersburg: Imperial Institution of Russia, 2310.

The graviton, an elementary particle that mediates the force of gravitation in the framework of quantum field theory, was first hypothesized in the 20th century and proved to exist circa the mid-twenty-first century. The names of the scientists involved in the discovery have been lost. The knowledge of their nature and existence were preserved in the monastery of Our Lady of Guadeloupe in Silvera (in what is now modern-day Kingdom of Yellowstone, North America) throughout the dark ages of war and societal collapse of the twenty-second century that were the drawn-out death throes of the so-called "One World Government".

The documents treating of gravitons were then re-discovered by Fr. Eugen Kempf, S.S.I.L., of the Pontifical Academy of Space Science in Rome, as part of his lifelong search for a way to create fully artificial (non-centrifugal) gravity. His prime concern was that priests aboard spacecraft, when offering Mass, had to consecrate the sacred wine inside pouches [by special indult outlined in the Motu Proprio Stella Splendens, Hadrian IX, 6 October 2183] and not in the appropriate sacred vessels. On larger vessels and the Tycho Brahe Space Station of his era, there was gravity by centrifuge but this was not deemed satisfactory by Fr. Kempf.

Fr. Kempf's single-minded determination to ensure that the most Precious Body and Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ received all due honour and pomp, even in the difficult conditions of space travel, ultimately led him to success where lay scientists had failed for hundreds of years. Offering Mass each morning before going to the laboratory, in his sixty-eighth year after over thirty years devoted to the topic, he designed and built the first graviton generator. The first vessel with artificial gravity was tested on 6 October, 2216. This success led to a radical change in the design and nature of space craft and proved a major contribution, second only the the perfection of the FTL drive, to extra-solar exploration.

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